"A Book Adjacent Object"
"A Book Adjacent Object"
Why did Melania Write Melania? (Plus an Ina Garten palate cleanser)
My first thought when I heard that Melania Trump was releasing a memoir a mere month prior to the election that voiced full-throated pro-choice sentiments was: why the fuck did the Republicans let her do that?
As fascinated as I am by the former FLOTUS’ Pynchonesque take on Christmas decorations or her frequent refusal to let her husband hold her hand, I wasn’t especially keen to spend money on her (surprisingly difficult to acquire) book.
Pamela Paul has described Melania as a “book adjacent object,” speculating it was likely written by a ghost writer whose primary qualification was crafting fashion captions for Harper’s BAZAAR. I concur that Melania, with its reverse Chanel logo color scheme and many short sections separated by an “M” (you know, for Melania, in case you…forgot) is not a riveting read.
I acquired and finished this book, however, because I don’t think ignoring the propaganda of fascism is a viable alternative. It is impossible to address the arguments of a political culture you do not even attempt to understand. Perhaps more importantly, it’s impossible to anticipate what comes next, a crucial consideration as Project 2025 looms.
You can’t dismantle the master’s house with the master’s tools, but it’s a really good idea to know what the tools do. To continue Audrey Lorde’s famous quote (the part that is often dropped), understanding these tools is what "may temporarily allow us to beat [the master] at his own game.” I’ll admit that while reading Melania, I understood Republican talking points in a way that I never have before. Melania Trump’s rhetoric is soft, seems reasonable, and is much more palatable than her husband’s. While the majority of her viewpoints are just as dangerous as Trump’s, the fact that they are not pitched in the repugnant or violent manner that Trump himself broadcasts them allows me, personally, to hear past the rhetoric, past the message, and to the fear.
While most reviewers have described this book as a bizarre cross between a fashion blog and a burn book, I think it reads more like the diary of a cult member. Over the last eight years, I’ve been extremely unsuccessful at working my way through the convoluted talking points of Trump’s supporters to detect what issues are truly at hand for them. I haven’t been able to see far enough past their hatred of immigrants, trans folks, POC, and women to understand what the real issue at hand is. Here are my eight most important takeaways, presented as superlatives, from Melania:
Most Apologetic
Melania frequently summarizes ideological disagreements with Trump, many of which remain unresolved. The point of this seems to be to suggest she is not a blind party loyalist, but a tempered and reasonable voice. While her ideological disagreements with Trump are mostly only vaguely alluded to, Melania does pointedly voice disagreement on Trump’s child separation policy, reproductive rights, and bullying. In a chapter summarizing her main policy initiative as First Lady, the Be Best anti-bullying campaign she began in 2018, Melania states,
I had anticipated some criticism in light of Donald’s social media behavior, but despite the scrutiny my stance might receive, addressing this issue was a personal priority for me. Throughout the campaign and his presidency, I maintained that my advocacy wouldn’t be swayed by how my husband managed his Twitter account.
Melania’s tacit acknowledgement that Trump is indeed himself a bully is striking here. Repeatedly throughout this memoir, I felt Melania was striking a posture for other Republican women to emulate. I.e.,if she can look the other way about her own husband’s behavior and still fight the righteous fight (against cyber bullying), why can’t you?
Most Unapologetic
The question I’ve been asked most about Melania is if its author addressed the $39 I Really Don’t Care, Do you? jacket she wore to New Hope Children's Shelter in McAllen, Texas. She does indeed address it, and in fact reveals that her press secretary strongly advised her against this fashion statement.
As the door to the plane closed, my press secretary’s inbox was flooded with urgent emails from top-tier media outlets regarding the jacket I wore. The back of the jacket displayed a discreet yet impactful message: I really don’t care, do you? “It’s a message for the media,” I said, “to let them know I was unconcerned with their opinions of me,” I continued.
She told me I couldn’t say that. “Why not? It is the truth.” I disagreed with her insistence that I couldn’t say that. Ignoring my comments, she told a CNN reporter she was friendly with that it was simply a jacket, a fashion choice with no underlying message. I want to clarify that I never instructed her to provide misinformation…Unfortunately the media’s distorted reporting on the jacket overshadowed the importance of the children, the boarder, and the policy change. I was just another example of the media’s irresponsible behavior.
There are many moments throughout this memoir in which Melania is at pains to assign blame to someone on her staff. If we take this all at face value and set aside the critique of the media, it’s interesting to consider FLOTUS had so little control over her own messaging or her staff as to be unable to convey her actual beliefs to the American public until this moment. In many regards, Melania reads an attempt (fully sanctioned by MAGA Republicans) to revise history and to highlight the alleged suppression and censorship of two people who were once the most powerful couple in the free world.
Most Illuminating
Because the first headlines that came out about this memoir regarded Melania’s pro-choice stance, I was surprised to read that the majority of the chapter that mentions this is actually concerned with Melania’s thoughts on trans rights. After detailing the usual arguments about the “physical advantages of male bodies,” Melania explains,
Some argue that the number of trans-athletes is low, but even one can upset the balance in a female league or tournament due to these physical advantages. High school athletes often dedicate years to training with the hope of being recruited by universities. Seeing that dream collapse is an unnecessary and avoidable consequence.
The issue also has broader implications, including the loss of future earning potential as professional athletes and a potential setback for equal pay in sports.
As many of you know, I fully support the LGBTQIA+ community. But we must also ensure that our female athletes are protected and respected. It’s time for our polarized communities to come together, return to the center, and rediscover respect and tolerance for diverse thoughts and beliefs.
There’s no need for me to detail the problems with this stance for readers of this particular newsletter. But I will say, between this and a recent episode of The Opinions, I was able to understand MAGA attitudes toward transgender people for the first time. I’ve long felt that simple “fear of the unknown” or the argument that Republicans simply don’t know and therefore don’t care about trans people isn’t enough to make this issue a central talking point of their platform.
Through Melania’s argument, it has become clear to me that this issue isn’t about fear of the unknown or even religious ideology, but rather a more basic fear about resource sharing. Trump and other MAGA Republican’s have done an excellent job of suggesting that people who identify as trans are not experiencing true gender dysphoria and subsequent life degrading, life threatening consequences. Rather, Trump has convinced his base that trans Americans are asking for special attention in order to unfairly gain access to health care and more advantageous career opportunities (specifically related to sports). This is an argument that is especially seductive for people who already feel like they’ve been treated unfairly by “the system;” people who fundamentally fear that there isn’t enough to go around despite their honest hard work. And I do believe most MAGA Republicans work hard, have values, and feel understandably betrayed by the American promise. The genius of MAGA’s stance on trans rights is the way it weaponizes a distinctly American work ethic in order to villfy those most in need of care.
Most Surprising
While there’s plenty of mention of Melania’s cordial relationship with Michelle Obama, there’s not one single mention of Mike or Karen Pence. Perhaps this isn’t really surprising, but it is a glaring omission in a book that is largely concerned with social connections and the guest list of every event.
Most Butterfly Effect
We all know by this point that Trump was much closer to death than we’d been told when the former President contracted Covid in October of 2020. While Melania doesn’t explicitly acknowledge how ill Trump was, she does detail sitting up with him all night in the White House and monitoring his oximeter and temperature. By morning, she exhorts a resistant Trump to go to Walter Reed National Military Medical center.
Donald resisted; he wanted to remain at the White House and keep working, even though he was ill…I explained, "You have a fever. You need to go to Walter Reed. There is an entire team there that can monitor you. You can’t stay here another night. What if you suddenly get worse? I’m not a doctor.”
I don’t know how true I believe this is, but I do acknowledge the narrative gesture here. What we learn from this story is that Trump listens to no one, although in extreme situations the one person who has his ear is his wife. The effect, I suspect, for many women who would like a reason to vote for Trump despite the fact that he brags about overturning Roe is a reassurance that at the end of the day, he respects his wife.
Most Chilling
Trump calls Melania’s doctor personally after every single one of her appointments. I read this as a foreshadowment to Trump’s statement from October 30th, 2024, “Well, I’m going to do it, whether the women like it or not. I’m going to protect them.” I also read this as further normalization of the idea that women can’t be responsible for their own health or bodies.
Melania Trump is, if nothing else, aspirational. Aspirationally beautiful, composed, wealthy, fashionable, mannered, and well-spoken. So the logic goes: If even someone like her needs her husband to check up on her, then certainly the average American woman needs patriarchal support.
And really, that’s the gesture of this entire memoir. To normalize and even advertise a mindset amongst Republican and undecided women that overlooks the former President’s crassness and active role in diminishing bodily autonomy. Melania’s job is to make her husband palatable. The former fashion model and current style icon is certainly up to the task. By my only measure of what makes a book successful-does it do what it set out to do?—Melania is indeed a successful memoir.
My Camp rec this month is Be Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina Garten. This is a fabulous memoir about how to live your life with imagination. It also reckons honestly with being married to the same man throughout various stages of the feminist movement. I also learned a lot about negotiation and investing!
